Having self-confidence and believing in who I am, hasn't always been easy. This isn't something you learn overnight and it doesn't come in a pretty package with a big pink bow on top.
People have always been impressed with my ambition, dedication and most of all, my resilience. These acknowledgements have come from friends and family, clients and sometimes even strangers.
I wanted to take a moment today and share with you a few ways on how to build your self-worth.
I'm by no means a therapist or a self-help guru, but simply a woman that has had her share of ups and downs over the last 10 years. In fact, most of my life has had challenges, but as I was approaching my 30's, things got a little more intense. There's so much more to me, than being a Stylist/Creative Director, handbag addict and crazy dog mom. There are layers of pain, heartache, triumph and way too many lessons.
Over the years, I've suffered the loss of nine friends to suicide. NINE. I've slept on a friends couch because I had absolutely no money. I spent days in the ER while (adult) chicken pox almost beat the life out of me. I single-handedly brought a start-up company to the height of their success and was fired before given a paycheck. I left my entire career and moved out of the country to become a caretaker. I saved someone's life within a few seconds of their last breath.
These are only a tiny handful of the tough cards I've been dealt over the years. But the point is, I'm no saint, but I am strong. Without a doubt, I'm one tough cookie. A bad bitch with a heart of gold and an unhealthy obsession for the color pink.
"There are more people in the world that lack self-worth, than there is people that perfect it."
Some of my close and very talented friends, simply throw away their skills. Not because they don't have the money or opportunity to purse their dreams, but simply because they don't believe in themselves. If you don't believe in yourself, then why would anyone else believe in you? Life isn't about sitting on your ass and waiting for the success fairy to fly down and land at your side. Life is about grabbing each and every opportunity and squeezing every last drop out of it.
I can't tell you exactly why I'm so resilient, but I am quite sure these three reminders play a big part in it. I wake up everyday with my goals in line and myself as first priority #1. Am I arrogant? Hardly. I've just learned the hard way (a few times) and if you don't have your best interest at heart, nobody else will.
1. Stay focused with your eye on the prize.
Whatever your personal prize is, don't lose sight of it. Ever. We all have our bad days, but every new sunrise is another opportunity to continue down your path of greatness. If you want to build a successful business, grow your family or simply stay happy and content where you are, just do it. There will be people that will try to take you down. These people are called "energy vampires". They are not better than you, as you are not better than them. They seem to be envious of your drive or perhaps too weak to try it themselves. But don't fault these spirit suckers, just stay in your lane and wish them well in their journey. Work hard to win your prize. Put in the time that it takes, because trust me, it takes time. Stay grateful and positive with your morals high and I promise you the results will pay off.
2. Don't compare yourself to others.
I'm pretty sure you will be able to relate to this, the moment you read the following question... How many times have you followed a blogger or celebrity on social media and envied their life? Guess what? Their life isn't perfect. Believe me, it's not. There is a story or personal struggle behind everyone, no matter how rich or famous they might be. Your journey is different than theirs and they are different from you. It's not about trying to be better than them, it's about trying to be better than yourself. Be a better you today, than you were yesterday.
3. Always do what's best for you.
This is the most single important tip when building your inner confidence and it's the hardest thing you will ever do. I'm a giver. I would give you my last dollar, I would give you the clothes off my back if you needed it and I have... But it doesn't mean I will sacrifice my morals or happiness either. This step is a work in progress every day and it's the newest step in my personal journey. I'm reluctant to admit that I've lost myself before, but I'm proud to say I'm currently finding more and more of me, each day.
Stay grateful, have morals, smile at strangers and don't let anyone tell you different, ever.